Disneying the Classics #12: Cinderella

Woah baby! It's the first actual Disney animated movie since I dunno like ever! You know, as in not a shorts compilation, it's a movie that's actually considered a classic. It has a Platinum Edition DVD and everything. This is one of those movies with a serious presence in Disneyland, and let's be honest, I'm only doing this so I can fully get the Disneyland experience. Now, on to Cinderella.

Previous relationship with movie: I'm pretty sure I've seen this, because I have the VHS tape. But I don't really remember anything about it besides having seen Bippity Boppity Boo many, many times on a Disney Sing-a-long tape.

So I watched it: Gotta say, I didn't love it. It's definitely a beautiful movie but man is this thing slight. Like how in Pinocchio how the first half hour of the movie is pretty much real time Gepetto creating Pinocchio, this movie starts out with at least a half hour of a real-time day in the life of Cinderella, except a lot less happens. Really, I'd say it's fair to call this movie "inessential," if you watch a clip reel of the best parts of this movie then you pretty much get what the movie's about. You probably don't NEED to see the whole thing. Oh, who am I to bash this movie, just see it anyway, it's gorgeous. Yeah I'm backpedaling but olde-tyme Disney has one of those "lifetime passes" you hear so much about. I'll try to make the next write up better (how many times have I said that now? every time?!).

Best part of the movie: When Selena Gomez sings Tell Me Something I Don't Know In the Bippity Boppity Boo segment when the Fairy Godmother turns Cinderella's rags into a gown. If it was Walt Disney's favorite piece of animation, who am I to argue? The face the stepmother makes in this article's screenshot is a close second.

Up next: Alice in Wonderland. Hey, I know that one!

Disneying the Classics #11: The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad

I've done eleven of these? And it only took me ten months? Wow!

I'll level with you: this is the last of the Disney "package films," and as such I watched it with more of a "let's get this over with" mindset than like I wanted to watch an actual movie. That's the same mindset I'm bringing to this write-up. You've been warned.

Previous relationship with the movie: I've been on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

So I watched it: It was decent I guess. I mean none of the Disney movies yet have been horrible or anything it's just that I'm sick of the package films and I want to get onto the actual classics. This movie is made up of two long-ish segments, the one about Ichabod and the one about Mr. Toad. The Mr. Toad one is first, so I'll talk about it first.

Mr. Toad was a pretty good segment. Mr. Toad is a rude toad who just wants to slack off and have fun, and the rest of the town gets on his case about it and tells him to grow up. I can relate to that. Mr. Toad sees a motorcar and he just goes NUTS, he has to have it. Cut to later, he's been blamed for stealing a car! You don't even get to see the incident, it's like the Hangover of that generation. What happens next, I'll never tell!

Then the Ichabod Crane segment. It was pretty good too mostly. Ichabod Crane is an ugly nerd who somehow gets chicks. Boo, I hate ugly nerds (I am self-loathing). Ichabod and the town bully try to win over the town hottie, Katrina Van Tassel. The town bully tries to pull a trick on Ichabod by telling him the story of the Headless Horseman. Then the Headless Horseman actually comes after Ichabod! Weird. What happens next, I'll never tell.

Overall, this was a good movie. As good as these package films got. I'm glad to be done with them, though.

Best part of the movie: When the Headless Horseman throws his head at Ichabod and disintegrates him (whoops, spoilers).

Up next: Actual classic, Cinderella.

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Disneying the Classics #10: Melody Time

Watchin' Disney was a lame name so this feature is now called Disneying the Classics, sorry for the confusion it will cause on this feature's Wikipedia page.

Today's movie is Melody Time. It's not great, so let's make this one short.

Previous relationship with the movie: I think a preview for it was on one of the Disney Singalong tapes I watched a lot growing up. I also think I might have seen some of the segments from this movie as stand-alone shorts.

So I watched it: Oh, was this a letdown. I had such high hopes that this would blow the rest of the Disney package movies out of the water. The DVD does a lot to raise expectations; the front cover and the description on the back suggest that Donald Duck hosts the whole movie, but this is not the case. There is no framing device in the movie, it's just a bunch of shorts that may or may not involve music. The parts that I thought would be awesome were just pretty boring, like the Blame It On The Samba sequence featuring my new favorite Disney character Joe Carioca. It's worse than anything in Saludos Amigos or The Three Caballeros though. Also the Johnny Appleseed segment, which is kind of famous by Disney shorts standards considering that I'm pretty sure I've seen it before. Problem is, the Johnny Appleseed story doesn't have much conflict. Johnny goes around planting apple trees, stays in the lord's good graces, then dies and goes to heaven.

Pretty much the best part of the movie is Pecos Bill, about a cowboy who is famous in Texas. I'm not sure if it's a real Texas legend or just for the movie, but it has a live-action framing sequence with Roy Rogers telling the story to a bunch of little cowboys and cowgirls. If you're going to watch a sequence from this movie, Pecos Bill is the one to watch.

Best part of the movie: Honestly, the best part of the movie is when they give Texas a dick.

Up next: The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, then I'm done with the package films and can get onto the real Disney movies which were the reason I started this project in the first place!

Watchin' Disney #09: Fun and Fancy Free

Today's Watchin' Disney, Fun and Fancy Free, is one of those not-really-a-movie movies. Unlike the previous not-really-movies movies, this one isn't a bunch of musical and/or Mexican shorts strung together, it is just two fairly long shorts strung together. And hey, Mickey Mouse is on the DVD cover, they don't just put Mickey on ANY piece of crap! *walks past a merchant selling an obscene amount of shoddy, inferior Mickey Mouse product* Haha, thought I'd spice up this intro with a joke from my Duckman spec script. Let's get into the movie!

Previous relationship with movie: You ever seen Mickey and the Beanstalk? I have! It was made as part of this movie, I didn't even know!

So I watched it: This is movie is two things, a pretty-long short Bongo, and a slightly shorter short Mickey and the Beanstalk. Jiminy Cricket kind of "hosts" the whole movie from a live-action house.

First, Bongo. It's about a bear who works for the circus where they are VERY cruel to him. One day he ends up in the forest. The forest is a tough time for a circus bear, but then he falls in love with a girl bear. According to my research this was originally going to be a feature-length prequel to Dumbo. I liked Dumbo so I liked this too!

Then, Mickey and the Beanstalk. It's Jack and the Beanstalk but with Mickey, Donald Duck and Goofy. This has its own live-action intro where Jiminy Cricket sneaks into a house where Edgar Bergen and his puppets are at some kid's birthday party. So Edgar Bergen and puppets tell the story as it happens. I think this might be on one of the Walt Disney Treasures so I won't talk about it much. It's good, sure, but I liked Bongo better!

Best part of the movie: The fantasy sequence in Bongo where EVERYTHING is shaped like a heart; the clouds, the water, I really wish I thought of it.

Most inexplicable part of the movie: In the opening credits, Donald Duck is credited over Mickey Mouse. Both are under both of Edgar Bergen's puppets.

Up next: Melody Time. Man I'm really looking forward to getting past these "collection" movies and onto the real ones. CINDERELLA IS SITTING ON MY DVD SHELF AND I AM QUITE LITERALLY DYING TO GET TO IT.

Movies 2008

Better late than ever.

Here's the movies I saw in 2008:

Cloverfield
The Spiderwick Chronicles
Be Kind Rewind
Semi-Pro
The Bank Job
Charlie Bartlett
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Smart People
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Baby Mama
Iron Man
Speed Racer
Young @ Heart
In Bruges
Drillbit Taylor
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Son of Rambow
You Don't Mess with the Zohan
Leatherheads
The Foot Fist Way
Girls Rock!
The Promotion
WALL-E
Hancock
Kung Fu Panda
The Dark Knight
Step Brothers
Space Chimps
Pineapple Express
Bigger, Stronger, Faster*
Tropic Thunder
The Wackness
Horton Hears a Who!
The Rocker
Hamlet 2
The House Bunny
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Role Models
Rachel Getting Married
Synecdoche, New York
Religulous
Bolt
Slumdog Millionaire
Frost/Nixon
Yes Man
Milk
Doubt
The Wrestler
Waltz with Bashir
Gran Torino
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Not as many as last year, but what can you do?

Top 10:

10. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - I might be overrating this, or I might be underrating it in fear that I'm overrating it. But having seen this about a week ago, desperate to get out of the house on a Tuesday and going to the world famous Pollack Cinemas and seeing it with a fairly-packed theater that was pretty much all captivated by the movie for the entire 2 hours 45 minutes (myself included)... it was MAGIC. I sn't it? That is what the movies are about folks. I don't know if I'll still care about this movie by the time it's a part of the Criterion Collection. But right now, I love it.

I don't have comments for the rest of the list :(

9. Frost/Nixon
8. Tropic Thunder
7. The Foot Fist Way
6. Waltz With Bashir
5. Drillbit Taylor
4. WALL-E
3. Synecdoche, New York
2. The Dark Knight
1. Cloverfield

Some honorable mentions (not in any order):

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Iron Man
Religulous (liked this when I saw it, might not if I saw it again)
Role Models
Slumdog Millionaire

Overrated/Underrated:

Underrated: The Rocker - Man, was this movie that bad? You know what, maybe it was. I mean, obviously I'm going to like a movie about a drummer who helps a bunch of kids realize their rock and roll dreams. But what's so wrong with that?!

Overrated: Bolt - This movie isn't TERRIBLE, sure, but it's not that good. Kind of surprised how the reviews have been almost unanimously positive, cause it's pretty damn mediocre. It felt like Disney trying to not make a "generic Disney movie" and instead just making a generic movie. Personally, I'd rather take a generic Disney movie over Bolt. Even Dinosaur, huge piece of crap, just feels more like a Disney movie to me than this.

Favorite thing overheard in a theater: "Mickey Rourke, he used to be pretty handsome" - older lady to other older lady before The Wrestler started.

BONUS: Favorite thing overheard in a theater, 2007: "She's so flat-chested." - older lady to other older lady during Juno, in the scene where Juno is acting a fool in Jennifer Garner's bathroom.

Top 5 worst movies I saw this year:

5. Be Kind Rewind - Yeah, really didn't like this. I dunno, what did you think?
4. Non-post-makeover-Kat Dennings parts of The House Bunny.
3. Space Chimps - Not even Funniest Living Human Andy Samberg could help this crap. (YEAH I KNOW IT'S JUST A KIDS MOVIE, indulge me)
2. Baby Mama - aka Hey Judd Apatow and Jason Reitman, If You Wanted Me To Hate Knocked Up or Juno, Respectively, You Should Have Made It Like This
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Oh man, South Park already made fun of this, I'm such a cliche.

See you next year. (?)

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